My friends, they love my intelligence
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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