sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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