we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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