i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
