So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
