he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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