Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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