I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
