You just made me feel so damn special
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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