Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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