how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
