I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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