ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
