No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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