We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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