It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize