I skipped work to stalk him.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
