I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
