Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This is my gift to your gina
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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