Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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