I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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