I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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