You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He better not be in your backpack
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
