Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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