So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
They took my balls.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
