I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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