no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
