yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
This is classic penis vs brain.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
