My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
