Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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