i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Come see our sink grown plant.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
