then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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