Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.

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(646): View more from New York

the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.

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(727): View more from Florida

He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.

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(626): View more from California

We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.

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(847): View more from Illinois

bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

(309): View more from Illinois

May the force be with you.

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(972): View more from Texas

You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.

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