last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
this will be a night to untag.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
