Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
