Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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