I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it because I queefed?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
