Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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