your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
