Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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