I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize