I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
