And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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