just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
