i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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