I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
