You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
