I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Come on in and take your pants off
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