just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
