New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
