Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
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Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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