Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize