I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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